twenty-five things about me
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1. I kindly request, if you eat canned tuna in spring water, that you switch to oil in 2009.
2. There are 92,000 miles on my car. I intend to drive it another 100,000 and have driven it across the country three times. I enjoy the disparaging looks I receive driving it around Miami, the City of Fast and Furious Drivers.
3. I hope to convert my next vehicle to biodiesel, mostly as an excuse to buy a deep fryer and then use the oil.
4. I have a deep and abiding faith in the Lard.
5. I make a cooking show in my kitchen, by myself, that I post online. I do this more often now because most of the people who have filled my kitchens live far away. Sometimes other people make the recipes later.
6. Moving to Miami was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I miss Charlottesville something fierce.
7. I never thought I would do what the kids call “social media” for a living.
8. When people collect “friends”, “followers”, or whatever other users of an online service are called, I feel sad for them.
9. Most of you don’t know about my real first kiss.
10. There is a high likelihood that I will never own a pet. I might borrow yours.
11. Bikram yoga has changed my hands in the past month or so. I am fascinated by this.
12. I visit California often enough that some people think I live there. I do little to dissuade them.
13. is one of my lucky numbers.
14. When I was nine, I decided to be an FBI agent when I grew up. I taught myself to read backwards, roamed the house with a blindfold on, and started silently walking on the outsides of my arches. This self-imposed training regimen was loosely based on a combination of Agatha Christie novels and Disney movies.
15. One of my favorite films stars Hayley Mills, and no, I’m not telling which one. Don’t hate.
16. I cooked on multiple occasions for someone who could eat seven foods total. And yes, she was older than five.
17. I would much rather you respect me than like me.
18. I am married on Facebook, and I can no longer imagine my life without Stewart Pillow.
19. I’m better at e-mail than phone.
20. I worked as a temp one summer at a Web company before the first bubble burst; there was someone who wore a straitjacket, another who skated the halls, and a third who spent most days in one of the game rooms eating ice cream sandwiches (this eventually impaired his table tennis skills).
21. In many of my dreams, I play a grand piano in a large empty public space. I don’t know what this means (if it’s something horrible, please don’t tell me) and I haven’t played piano regularly since I was twelve.
22. I am a synaesthete. You may be too. I wrote a piece about this in college and tested my hypothesis by feeding my professors’ brainiac kids Cool Whip and asking them what shape it tasted like.
23. I was the Sugar Plum Fairy. And the Dew Drop Fairy. And an amoeba in a pink unitard with a dozen other fourteen-year-olds moving in a cluster around a stage to Pink Floyd. I remain convinced that the choreographer was high. There was an amoebae tug-of-war section.
24. I am missing part of one of my fingers from entering a guacamole contest at my friend Sean’s. I went to the emergency room after the party. It was worth it.
25. I do not go by my first name.
